


Quantifiably Convenient

by astudyinperiwinkle



Series: Same Attraction, Different Universe [1]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek 2009, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Developing Relationship, First Time, M/M, Wall Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-20
Updated: 2012-10-20
Packaged: 2017-11-16 17:31:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/542027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astudyinperiwinkle/pseuds/astudyinperiwinkle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Now that the crew has been established, it's time for some relationships to do the same.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Quantifiably Convenient

In the scant couple years I had worked for Jim Kirk, after the countless times he had dumbfounded the entire crew of the Enterprise, never before had I witnessed him be so frustratingly illogical. I had seen him defy natural law, federal jurisdiction, and rely solely on luck to achieve feats that would otherwise seem utterly impossible. Great man that he had thus far proved himself to be, I had yet only begun to comprehend the levels his Human emotions could achieve.

It was not a lack of inhibitions brought on by alcohol; there was no lingering taste of liquor. He was neither exceptionally flushed nor breathing rapidly, which excluded whatever drugs may be in his system, though knowing Jim as anyone on the Enterprise did, the odds of him partaking in narcotics were as close to zero as possible. Unless of course Dr. McCoy had found an excuse to, for all literal definitions, practice medicine on him again.

After the initial shock, and a moment to assess his mental acuity, I placed a hand on his chest and pushed him back. His lips left mine grudgingly but his eyes met mine readily enough with all the defiant excitement that had become trademark and compliment to his nature.

"Captain?" Luckily my voice did not betray fully the obnoxious surge of confusion trying to tangle my thought processes.

"Spock, you really need to lighten up."

"Sir, my being in control of myself in situations your untamed emotional responses thrive in aside, I am finding it difficult to even begin analyzing what your motives are for such an unprecedented action."

Jim tempered back a small smirk. "It's called a kiss. And I know you know that. The whole crew knows you know that. All of our cameras are monitored you know." Then he added in a mock-conspiratorial tone, "And there are quite a few gossips on the ship."

Half a dozen images clipped through my mind of elevators and empty hallways. Nyota had tried to keep her smoldering emotions in check, and thankfully when she felt the need to indulge in shows of affection outside the privacy of either of our quarters it was when we were alone. It had been well over a year since I had broke off the affair, since last our lips met per Jim's reference. Regrettably, our roles as teacher and student had not translated successfully into coworkers. After repeatedly putting her emotions for me above the needs of the ship, notably during the short-lived crisis with the alternate-reality Romulans, I deemed it impractical to endanger the Enterprise by giving her the weakness of emotional dependency.

"Be that as it may, it still does not explain your actions. You paged me to your cabin for a reason, I presume?"

"I know we're off duty, but I know you never really relax, either. I needed to get you away from anything that remotely resembled work so we could talk. I've been thinking it's time we just laid it all out between us. We've known each other for a couple years now, right? Well when have we ever just sat down and talked about something other than engineering reports and astral data? I know you're Vulcan and won't show emotion if given the slightest chance to avoid it, but I know under all that, that logic, you've got feelings and needs you won't admit you have."

I wrestled with the tug of frustration now picking at my rationale. The insinuation presented was quite obvious. If I were to venture a guess as to its origin, he had discovered feelings for me within himself and was now exploring the possibility of reciprocation. It had occurred to me previously that our unusually close friendship was rooted deep in a collection of sticky emotions stemming from fealty and a shared obligation to the Enterprise. It had until now seemed highly unlikely that Jim would dwell hard enough on them to act.

"Indeed, I have feelings," I acceded grudgingly, prepared for but wishing to avoid arguing yet again the technicalities of Vulcan feelings with my Human friend. "The purpose of keeping them under logic is I then do not have to worry about them impeding my judgment. Such is the discipline all Vulcans practice."

He contemplated a moment, his bottom eyelids scrunching up as if a change in view would reveal some hidden meaning to my words. "So I've been told. What I want to know is what those feelings are, exactly. I apparently can't surprise them out of you." He gestured a hand arbitrarily as if the kiss he was referring to was a normal occurrence. "You won't straight out and tell me. So, what? How am I supposed to know where my First Officer stands?"

I kept my eyes locked on his, trying in vain to read into the mess of emotions behind them. "To what end would knowing something as irrelevant as my personal feelings get you?"

"Just humor me," he leveled me with a look of pure stubbornness. How many men and women had buckled under such intimidating scrutiny? Luckily, I was no swooning Human conquest. 

I inclined my head politely. "You are my Captain. Therefore, I feel the appropriate amounts of respect and allegiance-"

"As a friend, Spock, a close friend. Not a crew member. Maybe fishing for an easy way to open the conversation isn't the way to go." Jim's even stare resolved itself. "I'm not asking you to tell me you love me. I'm just asking you how far our friendship goes so we know if we're on the same page. If there was a chance we could be something more for each other, if only on a physical level, wouldn't you want to know for sure?"

In fact, I did thoroughly grasp his inferences, and such a back-handed offer that he was propositioning was not entirely out of my realm of acceptance; Jim was not physically unappealing to me. The core of the problem was not anatomical attractivity but the previously discovered hazards of getting involved with a Human. Putting another working relationship at risk of potential awkwardness, with not an inferior Officer but my one and only superior on the ship, gave me pause despite the odds of Jim letting any personal relationship bleed into his professional life being marginal at best.

Whatever feelings I did feel for him were borne from my loyalty to his being a superb yet realistically and acceptably fallible Captain. The emotions that subsequently extended beyond that were due to the friendship we had been cultivating over the years and were ultimately secondary to the ones I owed him as a superior. Against all logical likelihood, our contrary and competitive natures had, like magnets, pulled us more closely together than either of us outwardly acknowledged. As time progressed it had become very probable that our relationship would lead to emotions similar to love or lust. More specifically the latter, from his open admission.

"You know what? That's fine," he nodded at my silence that had perhaps stretched on longer than he felt reasonable. A strange and bravely resigned smile touched his features. "I get it. I thought maybe after everything that you might be open to a strings-free relationship, but if you're fine, then that's good. I just don't want my First Officer holding back because getting close to someone might reveal some embarrassing emotion. Remember, if all that meditating doesn't cut it, you can trust me. Okay?" He nodded shortly to punctuate his sincerity.

It was decidedly unexpected and bizarre to see Jim admit defeat. He was giving me a chance to escape the situation, as well as spare his ego that must be sore at my silence which could easily have been misconstrued as a dismissal of his offer.

And much to my own surprise, I found myself immediately disappointment that he had not tried harder to force an answer from me. It was decades of ingrained stubbornness and distaste for experiencing distinctly Human emotions, that were equal parts impractical and unnecessary when combined with my Vulcan pride, causing me to hold back and make excuses. My dissatisfaction brought that fact into clarifying light.

It had been so much easier with Nyota boldly stating her desires and initiating the beginning of our relationship. She had guessed correctly as to my feelings and given me no room to refuse her either way. Jim was not so forceful, for which I was both thankful and discontented.

"Come on then. I'm sure someone is going to wonder why the ship's Captain and Science Officer are skipping out on dinner." He put an arm casually around my shoulders to lead me from the room. The length of his arm across my back, the feel of his palm and the curl of his fingers around my shoulder, having his chest rise and fall against my arm was more physical contact than I was prepared for. It communicated levels his words had failed to delve into.

It was an alien sensation to have someone in such close proximity while maintaining strict plutonic boundaries. Not since my mother had I experienced physical contact that was neither violent or sexual. It pulled the emotional and physical wants and needs in the back of my mind forward very suddenly. Jim's innocent act of Human commiseration put an edge to the physical tension that I had not realized was building between us, that may well have been building for quite some time.

If I did not act now, the opportunity to trust another person for the physical satisfaction of sexual release, sans social commitment of dating of which I was wary, may not come around again. He would hesitate to ask again if he ever felt the need to try at all. Jim was very adept at locating bedmates and a refusal from me now would stem any future offers. And naturally I would not allow myself the luxury of pursuing any connection with him, physical or otherwise, if it came down to it.

My mind was made up; come what may from this, I did not want it to pass me by.

Before he could escort me out of his room, I turned him around and pinned his shoulders back against the door. No sooner did I permit myself to experience fully the extent of what I felt for Jim did it become overwhelming. Admitting I also wanted the liberating opportunity to sate fleshly appetence, despite the risk of everything that could possibly go right or wrong, was all-encompassing.

His hands came up between us out of reflex at the sudden action but he did not appear to be scared. In such a position, my hands holding him back against the door with our bodies inches apart, his face was turned fractionally away from mine so we could maintain steady eye contact. 

"Commander." His breath dragged goose-bumps down the side of my neck. I was vaguely aware that he was trying to keep me grounded by use of my title but I found I could not care. The need to feel what it was like to be close to Jim was shockingly powerful. The demanding physical desire to feel another body close to mine was something I had been denied for over a year. It was not a base emotion that was easily controlled, easily directed, outside of private meditation.

With every inhale his chest would just barely touch mine. Each time was an individual thrill that took over my logic piece by piece, breaking down whatever sense was still in my mind. He was Captain James Kirk. He was my superior Officer. He was my friend. He was a man I trusted with my life, each and every aspect of it. Without a doubt, I knew he was an individual around who I could let my guard down.

I relinquished my hold of his shoulders and took his wrists still hovering in the minimal space between us. He did not resist as I guessed he might and instead allowed his arms to be held against the door at our hips. The gap between us disappeared as I leaned into him. Under my fingers his pulse was a lazy thump against the rapid cadence of my own.

"I believe, Mr. Spock, that this falls into the realm of illogical." His jest was light hearted despite our precarious position.

"Indeed it does, Captain," I agreed, my voice trailing off as I absorbed the combination of smells that comprised him. Old yet inoffensive sweat, faded aftershave, and the underlying scent that was distinctly Jim Kirk.

He laughed lightly and without a hint of trepidation. "If you're trying to prove you have emotions, it's working."

I unwound my fingers from his wrists and pulled back to better see his face, to look him squarely in the eye so there could be no miscommunication between us before we were beyond the point of rationale. It was an attempt I found to be inconsequential as Jim grabbed the back of my neck and leaned in for what felt like an entirely indignant kiss. It was as if he were offended I had even contemplated making him wait for what he so obviously wanted.

I matched every push and pull of his lips and tongue while my hands settled behind his shoulder and around the low curve of his well-muscled back. It was an odd sensation to be so intimate with someone of similar height and build, let alone same gender.

Not surprisingly, Jim seemed completely comfortable with our closeness in stature. The hand palming the nape of my neck massaged in tandem with his mouth. His other hand wrapped in contour to my side and it was so unlike the touch of Nyota. It did not feel wrong, just fundamentally different.

Enough of my controlled self was present to hit the button to lock the door we were against. Depraved need to satisfy what was more than likely my primal most Human design aside, being dumped ungraciously into the hall in such a compromising position with the Captain was not a blow my pride could take. And, the fading voice of logic added, risking the respect of the crew was not worth whatever this physical interaction was.

Both of my hands slid around Jim's back to find the hem of his shirt. With all the expertise expected from him, he moved with the action, rolling his torso with my movements and smoothly bending his arms to make quick work of undressing him without breaking our lip-lock except for the brief second it took to pull the article of clothing over his head and toss it aside. His mouth found mine again with conviction more appropriate for having been parted for days rather than mere moments. It was not needy or desperate. It was possessive, impatient, demanding; all innately negative qualities that Jim always seemed to make work for the positive.

Eagerness to explore this new side of him motivated my lips to venture away from his across the new rough growth on his cheek, the angle of his jaw just below his round ear, the tautness of his neck that vibrated as he let slip a guttural noise of satisfaction. I tasted the tang of his skin that was in perfect accordance to how he smelled.

My fingers found the hem of his pants and began to tug at the increasingly cumbersome piece of clothing. His hips leaned back against the door in an attempt to stall my obvious intentions. His hand raked up my neck and curled against the back of my head, pulling at what hair he could catch. The sensation became insistent and it took great effort to pull back and look him in the eye.

His smile was devilishly beguiling. "How can you Vulcans stay so level-headed all the time when you're obviously pent up?" His eyes crinkled as his grin cracked wider.

"Practice," I countered and, in one decisive movement, yanked the pants from his hips.

He threw an arm around my shoulder to take his weight as he awkwardly, albeit successfully, kicked off his boots and pants. His face was very close to mine now and I could see in detail the laugh lines around his eyes as he grinned mischievously. 

"Your turn," he snagged my shirt and practically tore it over my head and tossed it blindly into the room. His hands laid flat on the front of my shoulders and slid down my arms.

"Your skin is so hot." His distracted words barely escaped before he proceeded to suck at my throat, gently biting my adam's apple. Rough, prolonged kisses meandered down my chest and stomach as he took to one knee. I could feel my heart beat against his lips as they passed, settling finally on my abdomen between my hips where he focused his attention on extracting a bruise with his mouth, Distracted by the wash of a full-body shiver, I was not aware he had unfastened my pants until he had them removed with alarming efficiency.

A look of mild surprise must have crossed my face because when he stood back up, giving me space to step out of my boots and pants, he gave me another cockeyed grin.

"Practice," he said in explanation.

"It is not surprising the only thing you willingly disciplined yourself in is debauchery."

Jim laughed as I pushed him bodily back up against the door. "I love the dirty talk." His laughter was cut short by a mostly dramatic 'Ow' as I kissed him with enough force to knock his head against the metal door.

Jim was surprisingly lithe I realized as I kept him pinned stomach to stomach and thigh to thigh. Though well muscled where appropriate for healthy and active Human males, he was ever so slightly soft around his mid-section. My hands found the curves of his ribs, hips, and ventured down further to the last piece of clothing he wore, the insignificant scrap of cotton that seemed so taboo to remove just yet. I distracted myself with the firm muscle between his neck and shoulder, alternating between tasting the masculine taint to his skin and letting my lips experience each inch of fair flesh.

As eager as I was to allow myself the rarity of succumbing to my baser instincts, Jim was, naturally, at home in such circumstances. His open mouthed kisses were simultaneously warm and sharp against the muscles of my shoulder and arm. He maneuvered his hips so his legs were on either side of my left knee. Maddeningly, he let some of his weight rest there, putting hot pressure against my thigh as he leaned into it. One arm worked its way over my shoulder and snaked its way around my neck so five fingers could curl in the short hairs on my nape. The other gripped first at my shoulder blades, giving up on one to follow my muscles to the next before sliding down to my lower back where his grasp tightened enough to hurt, drawing me closer to him.

His hands were not as calloused as I thought they might be, given his tendency towards rigorous activities ranging from tinkering with technology to engaging in fist fights, but they were not soft either. They did have a nurturing quality as they moved across my body. Years spent in the beds of what I could assume were dozens of lovers had lent a duality to his touch that very few must realize or appreciate.

My hands ran down his shoulders to his elbows, savoring the glide of muscles and tendons as they moved under his skin. I found his wrists once more and guided them back to the door, holding them this time at eye level. My finger tips drifted up to the very bottom of his palms as I looked at the lines and faint few scars that marked his skin. Unaware of how deeply intriguing his hands were, that I dared not clasp as Humans were so eager to in moments of elation, he sucked none too gently at the ball of my shoulder, hips rocking carefully into me.

It seemed perfectly befitting then, everything we had done to get to this one moment, all the conflict and discord now set firmly in the past, and it was beyond doubt that I had made the correct choice by giving in to the impulsive side I otherwise deigned to acknowledge.

I eventually tore my gaze from his hands and caught his eye instead. The distracting need to consummate our unplanned foray into intimacy appeared to dawn on us simultaneously. His mouth opened as if about to speak but no words came out. One hand slipped from my loose grasp. Five fingers scratched my hip as he made a hurried grab for my undergarments. Likewise, I made quick work of ridding him of the final barrier between us.

With no words exchanged, Jim turned and leaned his back against me wholly, his hands reaching back to find my hips. I touched his elbows, his forearms, kissed his jaw and neck, as it dawned on me just how vulnerable he was making himself. Yet somehow the change in position was not submissive, just expectant. He watched me with achingly blue eyes made all the more exotic by the pink flush tinging his cheeks.

Interestingly enough, though not surprising in the least, his still parted lips were smiling. He was very nearly panting from lust and against my chest I could feel his back rise and fall in quick procession. His truly indomitable personality was finding our situation to be another rush, akin maybe to the narrow escapes and fortuitous misadventures he excelled at. That realization of how laughably and applaudably emotion-driven he was made me want him all the more.

One hand pressed between his shoulders and pushed him up against the door again as I allowed myself a moment to admire the smooth plane of his back, each and every curve of his spine and the slight ridges of his rib cage. The supple skin that covered his muscles and pulled as his arms and legs found their new positioning was mesmerizing. His anatomy was surprisingly sinuous. I had only known the physical company of women and was pleased with the effect his masculine body was having on me.

Limited as my knowledge was to the sexual acts between two men, it was no stretch of mind to comprehend the physics. Jim made a noise that blended a moan and a forced sigh as I wet my fingers with saliva to prepare him physically for what was now a distinct inevitability. My lips soothed the back of his neck, though the pressure of him around my fingers was thoroughly distracting and it was all I could do to just breathe in the pleasurable smell of his hair and skin. I kept my left hand flat across his chest, savoring the feel of air rattling in his lungs while his heart hammered steadily on, faster now but still woefully lagging compared to mine.

With his left arm braced against the door, his right hand was quick to find mine on his chest and twist itself to entwine our fingers. His nails dug into my skin as he squeezed in rhythm to my movements. It set every nerve I possessed on edge. It was an eventuality given the nature of Humans but it was still shocking to feel someone take my hand so thoughtlessly. Nyota had been very careful to respect my boundaries, and whether Jim was ignorant or simply disregarded it for this instance of intimacy, I found that I trusted him enough to quell the instinct to pull out of his grasp.

I could feel that he was nearly ready just as his breaths became deeper and shakier. One exhale sounded almost as if he breathed my name. I withdrew my fingers and wasted no time in satiating the need I knew we both felt. He exhaled sharply, pausing a new breath as his hand around mine tightened out of reflex. I conceded my fingers to curl around his and return the reassuring grasp that took a part of our minds off the respective sensations of my being inside of him.

It only took a few moments and my hand finally disentangled from his and slid down past his hip to the back of his thigh. My fingers dug into the firm underside of his leg just above his knee as I lifted and bent it to better our position. He was shaking as adrenaline and endorphines raced through his veins, adding to the tension between us as I supported most of his weight against me. His hand, now free, impatiently reached back and took secure hold of my hip to pull me closer and subsequently deeper. Neither of us could hold back the gasps that were wrung from our throats.

What sounded like a single small whimper sounded from between his clenched teeth as I started to move against him. I kept the pace slow. It was frustrating with all the exacting hormones and unbridled emotions making me want to push us both as hard and as fast as our bodies could handle and further if possible. At the expense of physical injury and ruining such an unexpected and entirely intoxicating experience, I relied on self-discipline to hold back. It was enough that I had allowed myself to succumb in the first place. Also, the considerable fact that Jim trusted me enough to let me do everything I had done, was doing, and potentially would do was not lost in the buzz of lust making my head light.

I leaned forward and whispered his name into his ear. His head rested against my mouth and his body flinched and grew tense. It was something learned by accident with Nyota and it apparently worked on both females and males. The push of my hips become more sudden, less even in meter and intensity, and I said his name louder. A shudder wracked him throughout and his hand on my hip clutched hard enough to leave bruises.

The attempts to further Jim's enjoyment were quickly working in my own favor. The permeating ache was building in my lower back as my body reached its minimum threshold. I fought back the building need for fulfillment and concentrated on maintaining a steady increase in my drive against him. It was difficult given how much I needed him in this moment. The hand holding up his leg clenched tighter as I pulled him back harder than before. His skin under my fingernails felt as if it would give way but I did not care. And I knew he did not either. My other hand had since taken hold of the crease between his hip and thigh, digging into his flesh just as harshly.

A breathy gasp seemed to catch in Jim's throat. His right hand left my hip and cupped the side of my head, seeking fingers finding my ear and pulling it. I could not tell if I sighed or moaned against the inside of his arm. I kissed the now hot skin there, letting my seeking teeth scrape his skin as I bit him, reveling in the saltiness. My eyes could not seem to stay open and I savored Jim through my other senses. How he felt almost cool and refreshing against and around my body, how his rough, desperate breathing seemed to fill my world, how he tasted and smelled of sweat in the oddly desirable way only Humans could.

"Spock," he panted, his eyes catching mine in our peripheral. His expression was lascivious and tinged with the beginning of sexual exhaustion. The hold he had on my ear relented, disappearing from view in front of himself, and I realized he was at the point of succumbing to the urge of release. It was not surprising he was so quick to reach his climax given the wide-known fact that becoming Captain had reigned in his libido significantly. Responsibility had that affect on a man.

I could feel his movements as he efficiently pushed himself to achieve consummation and was thankful he was willing to take it upon himself to finalize that aspect of his climax. It was no curious matter that the combination of his saying my name as lustfully as he had in conjunction with how tight his body became as he reached his orgasm that I was not far behind. Every muscle he had was shuddering, making his gasps shake as he labored to breathe past the gut-wrenching moan lodged tight in his throat. I let the pressure sitting hot and tense in my abdomen overtake my body. My hands under his leg and holding his hip both tightened with unintentional severity as I held him as close to me as possible, trying to keep as much of our bodies touching as possible. The feeling of sexual release was more than a year old in my memory and it was more complete and numbing than I remembered.

To keep from crying out in the sheer animalistic ecstacy of it, I bit down on Jim's shoulder, harder than what was probably necessary, until the rush of climaxing was over. There was a distant sensation of his hand on the side of my neck but I was drowned in my own tingling nerves, unable to open my eyes and forego the miasma of colors painted on the back of my eyelids. I stood motionless, panting with my forehead against the back of his neck, riding the wake of everything that had just happened.

"Spock," Jim said breathlessly, his hand patting my neck.

"Jim," I tried to keep my voice even but it was shaking still. My eyes opened finally when he turned his head. I could just make out an exhausted smile tipping up the corner of his mouth.

"If I ever accuse you of being emotionless again," he managed between heavy breaths. "You have my permission to remind me of this."

"Sir," I acknowledged halfheartedly, knowing that he was more than likely serious. I released my hold on his leg to find his other foot had been on its toes. Enraptured as I had been, I apparently had lifted him almost entirely off of the floor.

Returned properly to his own feet now, Jim was expectedly unsteady. A similar physical fatigue made my own legs seem leaden and useless, though in a way much different to what he must be feeling. To give both our prides the chance to escape bruising should we try to move too soon, I got Jim's back against the door and kissed him- a post-climactic habit I learned from Nyota. His mouth was refreshing and not unlike water after the bitterness of his sweat. I was not innately fond of kissing as Humans seemed to be but there was something almost nostalgic in how our mouths fit one another's.

The wave of euphoria was passing quickly. My strength was returning and I could feel my mind readjusting itself around the impractical impulse I had given into by having sex with my Captain. More correctly, my friend. I pulled away from him and set about gathering up our clothing, as much out of necessity as a way to distract myself from the crushing, distressingly Human desire to linger.

"I suggest we clean ourselves up before attending dinner." I put Jim's clothes on his bed.

He grinned at me as he watched, unabashedly leaning against the door, while I set about dressing. "So no post-coital cuddle, then?"

It was a playful jab to get some sort of analytical response he had come to expect from me. The lingering high from climaxing had softened the line between the logic I so strictly adhered to and the Human side I tried hard to keep in check. Any practical retorts were somehow lacking.

I fixed him with a look as I slipped my boots on, successfully smothering the pull of a smile tempting my lips.

"Maybe next time, Jim."


End file.
